Easy Tips To Have Happy Relationships

Have you ever dreamed of having a magic to make your love last longer? If there is a magic, love will be all around, no more sorrow. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

Dates: Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

Space: Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

Forget: No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

Fun: Couple tends to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off http://Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

Disagree: Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t have to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

Refresh: Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

Memories: Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

Start now with these simple ideas to keep your relationship with your special person longer. Most important of all, couples can happily stay together as they understand and complete each other.

10 Reasons Why SOME eRelationships don’t Work

You are single, bored and you just have nothing
to do. It is another miserable day like the day
before. You need someone to talk to and you are
turning on the computer, browsing some... dating
sites. There are so many people... singles, like
you are.

What should you ask from them? Can they change
your life for better?

The answer to the last question is up to you.
Would you let a person you have met online to
change your life? Are you willing to do this?  Do
you trust someone you have met this way?

SOME people simply do not have the courage to let
an online relationship to develop and change in a
normal healthy relationship. Are you one of them?

Let me re-ensure you that online relationships
really are working, and yes it can change your
entire life, in a good way. :)

But there are some impediments or mistakes which
are leading to the end of the relationship
between two people that could have had a good
future together:

1. First of all if you do not take people you are
taking to too seriously, you will be treated the
same way.

2. Being too secret and reserved. If you do not
tell things about you and you are not working to
develop a relationship, nobody will make this for
you.

3. Trust or lack of trust is the biggest
impediment of an e-Relathionship. You have to try
to get the people you are taking to trust in you,
and then find out if that person is a trustworthy
one. There are so many ways to check out this.

4. Being shy. If you are interested in someone
and you want to meet her/him offline, let her/him
know this.  What do you have to lose?

5. Fear of disappointment or fear of becoming a
victim of someone with bad intentions can make
you paranoid. It is good to be preventive but not
exaggerate about this. It is not funny and will
pull people away.

6. Unbelieving. If you do not believe that an
eRelathionship can become something more then it
is, you will not pay too much attention and...
You get exactly what you give and some more, don’
t you?

7. Do not make that relationship a priority in
your life. Any human needs to feel that is
important for someone, that is the center of
someone life, even if you have meet that human
online. Don’t you feel the same? Wouldn't you pay
more attention to someone if you would know that
you are a priority in his/her life?

8. Not making the next step. Talking online can
be fun but it is not enough to get to know a
person better and after a while it can become
boring. Talking on the phone can help you two to
develop the relationship and do not forget that
you can feel chemistry only when you two are
meeting face to face, touching each other,
feeling the smell of her/his perfume.

9. Beeing insincere, pretending that you are
something that you are not will lead you
eventually to the end of any relationship. So be
honest from the very beginning, maybe you have
just meat the mach of your life, don't take the
risk to lose her because of a stupid mistake.

10. Thinking that online dating sites are some
kind of shops where you can find a lover like you
find a pear of shoes, and if you are braking the
shoes you can go back to that shop and buy
another pair just like the first. It is not true,
every human, every soul is unique. If you lose
her/him it is for good. So I am sure that you
will have problems like all couples have but it
is worthy to make the effort to solve these
problems together. 

Be happy that the technology gives you the chance
to meet your match online, but do not waste this
chance, it could never come back to you.

"What Does Love Mean?" See How 4-8 Year-Old Kids Describe Love

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds: "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think...

_____

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca - age 8

_____

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

_____

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

_____

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."

Emily - age 8

_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7

_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

_____

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

_____

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Elaine - age 5

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (Now THIS is love!)

Lauren - age 4

_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image!)

Karen - age 7

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

Mark - age 6

_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

_____

And the final one...

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry."

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

10 Top Relationship Tips

What's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that  hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the
bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance
between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared
to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.