All About International Online Dating

If you are looking for something different and would perhaps like to meet someone from another country then international online dating might be just what you are looking for.  There are many love stories that have began with an online dating service and there is no reason why you can't have a fairy tale romance.  You do need to be careful with online dating services though as although many couples are successful at finding love, online dating can turn into a nightmare if you're not careful.

You always need to use common sense when doing anything online.  When you are talking to someone online you really know nothing about them and as such they can misrepresent themselves.  There are many con men online and if you aren't careful you may fall victim to one of them.

Even if someone shows you a photo it doesn't necessarily mean that photo is really of them.  They could have found that picture on the back of a picture frame that they bought or perhaps just 'borrowed' it from elsewhere online.

Even if a picture is a legitimate picture, you should never judge someone solely on looks.  If you meet someone that is beautiful, that doesn't mean that they are a nice person.  You should always be a little wary and never rule out other woman based on the looks of just one. 

Long distance dating can be quite difficult too so if you do meet someone through an international online dating service you might need to start doing some planning.  Web cams are great for meeting people online and because you can see and talk to a person live you know what the person looks like and that it is legitimately that person.  Being able to see each other is also more exciting than just hearing each other over the telephone.  Even though you live at opposite sides of the world, you can still have a romantic dinner by using a web cam.  You can both set up your home with some candles, soft music and a nice dinner, you can even cook the same meal, and then have dinner together via the web cam.

When you meet someone online you want to take the time to really get to know them.  You can do this by chatting online and ask her questions about herself.  As about her career, her family, her dreams for the future and even her fears.  Asking questions about all these things will help you to get to know her and it will also show her that you care about who she is.

Regardless of whether your date lives on the other side of the ocean, a date is still a date.  You should always try to impress her and keep her happy.  As well as asking her questions, you should also allow her to ask you questions and get to know you better.  Never lie about who you are as if you do eventually meet this person she will find out the truth.  Be honest from the start and your long distance relationship will stand a much better chance.

If you decide that you would like to meet in person it is a good idea for you to arrange to fly over and visit her.  If she wants to come and visit you, that is fine, unless she wants you to send her money for the trip.  Women meeting men online and asking for money to be spent for a flight over to visit is quite a common scam on the internet.

It isn't so bad to buy her a ticket, but never send her the money for a ticket as it's not likely you will ever see that money again.  When visiting someone overseas you will also want to be clear on the sleeping arrangements as you will need somewhere to stay.  You need to take things slow and not rush her into anything that she isn't ready for and if she isn't comfortable getting intimate just yet then you might even want to stay in a hotel.

International online dating can be a great way to meet someone new and possibly even your soul mate.  As long as you use your head and use common sense, then it really can be a great experience.

3 Tips For How To Deal With Jealousy

Jealousy in a relationship can cause many problems but some people just have no idea how to deal with jealousy.  Some people can become irrationally jealous of their partner to the extent that they don't want to let them out of their site.  They don't like their partner to even talk to or look at another woman or man or they become extremely jealous.  The partner on the receiving end of this jealousy may become tired of it, although flattering at first; it can cause a relationship to fall apart.

Here are three tips to help you learn how to deal with jealousy before it tears your relationship apart.

First you have to learn not to let the jealousy get to you.  I know this is much easier said than done but there are ways to work on this so it becomes easier.  If you don't trust your partner then jealousy is quite a normal response but you need to ask yourself why you don't trust him. 

Has he cheated on you before?  Do you know for a fact that he has cheated or do you just suspect it?  Has he given you reason to suspect he is cheating?  You need to find out whether you have a valid reason for not trusting him.

If you have no real reason for not trusting him then ask yourself why it is that you don't trust him.  Do you have a fear of him cheating?  Have you had someone cheat on your before so you distrust men in general?  If he has never done anything to lose your trust then you need to work through why you don't trust him and learn to trust him.

If you have a valid reason not to trust him, perhaps he has cheated on you before, then you need to think about whether you should still be with him.  If you have forgiven him for cheating and agreed to take him back then it can be difficult to regain that trust, but if you want the relationship to work then you need to work at rebuilding trust.

If you have been trying for a long time to rebuild the trust but just can't get past his cheating then perhaps this relationship has run its course and you should move on.

Whether you trust your partner or not, if he flirts with other people do you think he is going to cheat?  If not then why are you jealous?

Jealousy is really only a response to a threat but if that threat becomes real and your partner flirts with someone and then cheats on you with that person, then the threat goes beyond jealousy and into betrayal.

The second way to help you deal with jealousy is to learn for your partner to flirt all they want and not let it get to you.  Try to view flirting as a natural response that people have toward other people that they find attractive.  Even when your partner flirts with other women he still chooses to be with you so you actually have no reason to be jealous of flirting knowing that you are the person he chooses.

The third way to deal with jealousy is to use it to your advantage in a relationship.  If you do this though you do need to be careful that it isn't taken too far.  Showing a little possessiveness is actually enjoyable for some people and can add a spark to a relationship.

By dealing with jealousy this way it doesn't make you angry but instead makes both of you happy.  If jealousy is a real problem though then you do need to take steps to learn how to deal with jealousy more effectively.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is one of the primary goals of all humans. This, along with life and liberty, was declared as an essential right in the US declaration of independence. Every religion and philosophy has offered its pathway to happiness. Happiness is a state of mind and there are many paths to it. There are common prerequisites to sustained happiness as well as common causes of unhappiness. These usually transcend all classifications of gender, age or race. There are other factors which are very individual specific.

What is Happiness

Happiness is a state of the mind. The dictionary definition is ‘feelings of joy and pleasure mingled together”. A feeling of happiness is more than just an experience of joy or pleasure. It is a state of mind where the individual feels that “life is good”.


Becoming Happier

Happiness is a state of mind which can be induced by many means – some result in short term happiness while others result in long lasting happiness. One way of inducing long lasting happiness and bliss is meditation. For a busy person, a more practical way to becoming happier is to make steady progress towards meaningful goals. Even though this seems simple, it really is a very powerful technique to attain a state of long lasting happiness. The goals may vary from individual to individual, but for everyone happiness comes from merely making steady progress towards goals that are meaningful to them. The key is that goals have to be meaningful to you. Progress towards goals set by some one else will not bring happiness (unless you too desire the same goals).

There should be a balance in your goals to ensure that the prerequisites of happiness are fulfilled. These prerequisites include good health, sufficient income to meet basic needs, affection, some productive work or activity, defined and achievable goals and good attitude. All the money in the world will not make you happy if you ignore your health or have bad relationships. Also you must try to remove the causes of unhappiness from your life. These causes are - lack of any of the prerequisites for happiness, failure to achieve goals, envy, relationship problems, loneliness and fear of the opinion of others. 

Studies have shown that a number of factors contribute to sustained happiness. Some of these are
•    Good self esteem
•    Feeling of control over one’s life
•    Supportive and warm relationships (marriage/friendship )
•    Satisfying work
•    Enjoyable leisure activities
•    Good attitude
•    Good Health
•    Moderation in everything
•    Impersonal interests

Thus a very effective process of becoming happier is to set goals for improvement in each one of these areas, start working towards these goals and then periodically reviewing the progress towards the goals.

So the first step is to set goals for yourself in the major aspects of your life. These goals have to be meaningful to you and they have to be specific and time bound. If the goals are not meaningful to you, you will derive little happiness from achieving them. Also if they are not specific and time bound, you will not be able to measure your progress towards these goals and thus will not experience the increased happiness which comes from making steady progress towards your goals. Goals need to be set for the major aspects of your life which contribute to happiness – Health, Financial, Relationships, Career, Attitude, Self Actualization etc.

Then you must assess where you currently are in relation to your goals. Say if your financial goal is to have savings of twenty thousand dollars in five years, you need to assess your net worth today and also your current income and expenses to know how much you are currently saving.

Next you must set up a time bound action plan to achieve your goals. For your financial goals this means determining the extra amount you need to save each month, either by earning more or spending less or both. Then you need to have a plan for earning more and for reducing your expenses. This plan needs to be specific with amounts and timing e.g. you will reduce expenses by $50 a month by eating out less often and you will increase income by $300 a month by taking on a part time job.

Then start implementing your plan and monitor the progress. As you see yourself meeting your periodic targets, you will find your happiness increasing. Many of us have experienced the happiness which comes from steadily losing one pound per week in a weight loss program. Imagine having the same effect in all aspects of your life. The important thing in this is to make steady progress towards your goals. Happiness will grow as you see yourself making progress. Once you achieve your initial goals, you need to set new goals – maybe in different areas of your life e.g. if you have achieved your fitness and financial goals, aim for making a difference to the world around you. (Making a difference is a source of deep and long lasting happiness). Being without a goal after achieving your earlier ones will reduce your happiness. Say you suddenly inherit some money and achieve your financial goals, you will be happy for some time, but the effects will soon wear off as your mind adjusts to the new level of affluence. To sustain happiness you will have to set new goals for yourself, maybe in different areas of your life.

The Seven Day Life-Changing Happiness Challenge!

You are about to discover a simple technique for creating massive changes in your quality of life.

Do you want to be happier? This technique can help.

Do you want more time to spend with your family or friends, or even just time to relax by yourself? Then this seven day challenge is perfect for you.

And best of all, it’s really easy to do.

What is it?

For the next seven days, turn off the news!

Do not watch any news on the television.

Do not listen to any news on the radio.

Do not read the newspaper.

And do not have a news headline website as your browser’s home page.

Seven days! No news!

Can you do it?

Reducing exposure to the negativity of the news has produced massive changes in my life. It can and will do the same for you. However, please don’t take my word for it. Try it for just seven days and see for yourself.

The time will pass very quickly, so what have you got to lose? Worst case, you’ll miss a bit of news. Best case, you’ll be happier and more excited about your life. So, let’s give it a go!

Why does this work? Simply because one of the fundamental laws of nature is that our thoughts produce our reality. If we focus our attention on the negatives in life, we will give power to the negativity, and it will grow.

If we remove that negativity from our lives and focus on the positives, we will tend to create more positives.

The news is extremely negative. And the fact is that exposing yourself to most of this negativity adds NO value at all to your life.

Simply put, turning off the news shields you from the onslaught of negativity and leaves you with time to fill your life with positives.

So what you do with the extra time you now have available?

No, do not just watch other TV!

You want to replace this time with positive experiences which add value to your life.

Spend some time alone considering your life. Find out who you are. Find your life’s purpose, or your higher calling. Set some major goals for your future. Where would you like to go? Who would you like to go there with? What would you like to do for a living, if there were no limitations?

Spend some time with the people who are important in your life- your family and friends.

Consider getting back to nature. Take some time out for a relaxing walk in a park. Or sit at the beach and watch the waves. Relax!

This is not just hiding from reality, and living in a fantasy land. I don’t expect you to forever hide from what’s going on in the world, especially in your local community. Just cut out all exposure to the negativity for seven days and then consider whether you feel happier and more excited about life.

Once you’re aware of this alternative, happier way of living, you can then find a balance between being aware of current affairs, and your need to maintain separation from those issues.

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by worrying about what’s going on elsewhere, especially when it’s outside of your sphere of influence. When you understand that, you can then choose what you listen to or watch on TV. You will regain control.

If there is something that you need to know, trust me, someone will tell you anyway.

And you will have more time available to experience a positive and friendly world.

If you like the improvement this brings to your quality of life, then perhaps you could consider this is just a start. Why not also eliminate other TV which adds no value to your life.

Seven days, no news! The results will be life-changing.

It’s easy to do. However it’s also easy to not-do. Which will you choose?

Even if there’s only the smallest chance of this working, wouldn’t it be worth trying?

I know you can do it. Go for it!

The Secret of Happiness

What does happiness mean to you?  There’s a lot of searching going on these days for the elusive emotion of “being happy” --where do you find it, how do you create it, even what it actually is. 

But I’d like to share a little secret with you -- happiness is not just for a lucky few who were born with it. 

You see, happiness is not something you can reach out and touch or put in the refrigerator and take a sip when you need it.  Happiness is not found on a beach in Hawaii (really!) or in a perfect body.  It’s not even in that perfect relationship that Tom Cruise tries to sell us in the movies. 

Yet from the images bombarding you every day, it’s easy to make the mistake that happiness will arrive on your doorstep when you have the latest car, the best clothes, a fancy home, isn’t it?  It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that if you could just find the right person, they’d arrive with a box of happiness attached to his/her hip.  But all this does is convince you that happiness is something to be found outside of yourself. 

And that’s where you get off track.  Because the secret is that happiness is simply a by-product of creating and living a life that works, a life that you enjoy -- whatever that is.  Happiness comes from doing what you what, where you want to do it, who whom you want to do it with. 

And yes, I can hear all of you -- “But I can’t get the job I want because I’d have to go to school for 8 years, and I have to live here because I can’t afford to move, and what do you mean “who I want to do it with” because I want to hang out with Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey or Bill and Hillary Clinton”. 

And thank you all for making my point for me.

You see, happiness starts by believing you have control over your life; and grows by making choices that will give you a sense of well being, satisfaction.  Happiness comes from deciding that you *will* go to school for 8 years if that’s what it takes.  That you *will* organize your life until you can afford to move.  And that YOU decide who to hug, how much to smile, what music you listen to, and who you hang out with, even if it’s not Bill and Hillary. 

Happiness is about making the best choices you can about who you spend your time with, how you making your living, how much you learn, what you put into your body.  Because when you feel good about the space you’re in, when you’re with people you admire and respect and they admire and respect you, when you’re working on a project that’s meaningful to you -- happiness will shine right through.

And that’s no secret.

Decide today to stop chasing happiness, and instead choose three things that you love to do, that contribute to your feeling of well-being and satisfaction.  Schedule time for them, every day if possible, every week at least.  It doesn’t have to be for a long time, just 10 minutes a day will help you create the happiness that you’re looking for.  Guaranteed. 

And that’s no secret either.